The Hierarchy of Geekdom

Apparently, amoung the geekiest of the geek: the Magic: the Gathering players, the LAN partiers, and the d20 rollers, there is a general consensus over what is acceptable to enjoy and what it is not. For some reason, these people, who might, on a regular basis, be scoffed for their favourite activities and pastimes, find it more than okay to mock those geeks who either do not match their caliber of geekdom or enjoy things that they don't, or like what may be considered passé. I find this unfair. If you like Star Wars, I won't mock you, but don't mock me for reading manga. If you like arguing the relative merits of Dune versus Star Trek, I won't criticize, so don't criticize me for playing EverQuest. I won't scoff at your lack of knowledge in the realm of Tolkien, so don't scoff at me if I don't know every nuance of Magic. If I want to play Pokémon, I can. You all loved it when you were ten. Don't deny it. Don't mock me. Don't criticize. Don't scoff. If it was fun when we were ten, why can't it be fun now?

(As an aside, my examples are entirely random and I like basically everything included in this little rant.)

The problem with having a blog, or rather the problem with updating a blog, is that whenever something interesting enough to blog about happens, I don't feel like blogging. It's only when I'm really bored (and therefore have nothing going on, ergo nothing to say) that I feel like posting.

In this case, I had a really bizarre dream that felt more like a sci-fi action movie than one of my usual dreams, and I really wanted to write about it. But now that I'm looking at the screen, I don't feel like writing very much at all. In fact, now that it's been a few hours since I woke up, I barely even remember the details of the sci-fi parts, not to mention the plot. It's mostly just the tone that I've got now, and that's hard to express to you without details.

Motivation

It's difficult to find the motivation to do the work I really have to do. I know, intellectually, that this work needs to get done if I want to pass these classes, and I have to pass these classes if I want to keep my scholarship, and I have to keep my scholarship if I want to stay here, and I definitely want to stay at here. Unfortunately, that intellectual knowledge doesn't translate to actually sitting down and doing work.

Hopefully, I'll start sitting down with a friend who has a similar problem, and hopefully by each of us forcing each other to do our homework, we'll each get our stuff together and get it done. I don't want to fail out of school in the first semester of freshman year.

Update

It's been a while since I last posted. Not quite since January, as the post below might indicate, because I deleted my teen-angst style posts that are better suited to livejournal (where I actually started archiving them this afternoon).

Hopefully this journal will get back to what it was at the beginning, and if you look in the archives you can find some interesting (in my opinion, which may be admittedly biased) creative essays about random things I find intriguing.

Nothing of that sort just yet, though. Too mentally exhausted after the insanely daunting task of cleaning my room to contemplate it.

Metal

Guess what I just got? Metal! In my mouth! Yes, braces. Yes, braces when I'm about to turn 18. Why does life hate me?

To the people who've affected me:

Thank you all for being there for me when I needed you, whether you know it or not, whether you read this blog or not.

Lisa and Roni: Thank you both for teaching and supporting.

Machon: Thanks for being my best friends, even if we hadn't been close before. I know I can go to any one of you for anything and you'd take me in, no questions asked, even if we've only had one or two real conversations.

Bunk 13: I want to apologize for being disconnected half the time. Being a counselor was exhausting, and I'm afraid my attention to you girls suffered because of it. You deserved much more of me, because you made me smile as often as you made me want to pull out my hair. Thank you for putting your trust in me, for listening to my poems, for dealing with my inconsistencies.

Rachel W: Thank you for pulling me aside that day early in the session to tell me I was doing a good job. That meant so, so much to me. Probably more than you know.

Mike: Thank you for being my friend. I don't think you know this, but becoming friends with you was a turning point in my life. You were the first friend I made by myself. Every other friendship I've had has started off either through another person, or when I was very young. Having your friendship meant, to me, that I was someone with a personality worth hanging out with beyond inside jokes. Thank you.

Shelly: Thank you for being my best friend; for leaning on me when you needed someone to lean on, and for being there when I needed you. Thank you for counseling me through god-knows-what issues I've had. Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for writing. Thank you for being amazing.

Dave: Thank you for the very, very good ego boost when I most needed it. You have no idea how little self-confidence I've had. Thank you for our ridiculously open conversations. Thank you for giving me the hugs I need to make it through the terrifying place and time high school can be.

Nuno: Thank you for relying on me, and for knowing you can come to me with anything. I'm so sorry I can't be there, helping you, but you know that any time you're in the US you can come to me for anything. Thank you for being one of the closest friends I've ever had. You probably know more about me than anyone, save Shelly.

Jordan: Thank you for keeping me company, for sharing my interests in this insane group of people we call thespians. Thank you for so many other, innumerable things. Hopefully I'll be able to name them in full someday; for now I'll have to leave it at 'thank you.'

Chris: Thank you for being courageous.

Thespians & S.crew: Thank you for providing the niche in which I'm able to exist. Thank you for late nights and hard work that save me from going other places and provide me with some semblance of a social life. Thank you for allowing me to indulge in my craziness, and for tolerating it.

And with that, I believe I've come full-circle. I know I didn't name a lot of people specifically, but you mean so much to me nonetheless.

To all of you that I skipped, or included within categories: I love you all. You have provided so much support for me, and for that I am eternally grateful.

So thank you, merci, gracias, danke, grazie, arigatou, obrigado, chypta, and toda raba. I love you all.